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Not Today, Satan

Not Today, Satan

WARNING: Negative Energy Will Be Asked To Leave the Room

When the day starts acting up, this candle clocks in. Light it before that one person says something slick, before the group chat gets messy, or before you start drafting a strongly-worded message you’ll regret. With cleansing white sage, crisp white eucalyptus, and calming lavender, it’s basically an aromatic “try me if you want to” force field. No demons, no drama, no nonsense—just peace, calm, and a slightly petty smile.

Regular price $16.00 USD
Regular price Sale price $16.00 USD
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Candle Care

Our candles are made with natural coconut–soy wax, which means they have personality. You may notice frosting or slight texture changes—totally normal for natural wax and part of the charm. It won’t affect scent or performance, promise. Here’s how to keep yours burning beautifully:

  • Trim your wick to ¼ inch before each burn (yes, every time—worth it)
  • Let the wax melt fully to the edges on the first burn to prevent tunneling.
  • Burn no longer than 3–4 hours at a time.
    Place on a heat-safe surface, away from drafts, pets, and curious hands.
  • Stop burning when about ½ inch of wax remains.